Oops, I crapped my pants...

Well, that was last week actually, but regardless - I'm old. I've tried to fight it, I have... but, given the technology growth in the last 5-10 years, that really equals about a 20 year of generation gap.

I was hanging backstage last night at the Exit In with one of the bands I manage. There were several young bands on the bill that evening, then there was me - old dude. Earlier in the evening, I had dug an old Ocean Pacific wallet out of a drawer to replace the bad ass man purse that was recently stolen. My place in the universe started to solidify when I realized that the Op wallet was indeed, older than every member of every band.

Now the music scene has really changed in Nashville through the years, and there's some really great indie rock happening right now. Hipster music, created by and for hipsters. It is really good shit. It just doesn't seem that long ago that my band played the weekly showcase at the Exit In, however, in hipster years, it was decades ago. If I was to play these kids our old CD they would tool on me. Hell, the already tool on me. Although, I took 'you look like something off Miami Vice ' as a compliment.

As I sit in my robe and watch the NBA playoffs, TNT constantly plugs their new family comedy series, 'Are We There Yet?' produced by Ice Cube. (insert screeching sound...) What?! Ay dios mio. A lot can change in 22 years.

I couldn't find the promo clip for the show, but I did find this recent Dr. Dre commercial. Below that is my first intro to Dr. Dre and Ice Cube. Could you ever have imagined these guys selling Dr. Pepper?

Yeah, Dr. Pepper that ass with bullets.

Mulletitus and the search for Pat McGroyne...

Ah, you thought I'd gone away for good, right? That would be a big hells to the no. Instead I spent what should have been a stress free batch week, drinking from the fountain of anxiety. Oh yeah, and I capped it all off with a sleep over at Vanderbilt while they tried to get me to stop pooping and puking. I'll be honest, I need a whole new fleet of undies.

So no movie of the week, no funny vid, no 24 talk - just the GC archives. By the way, the Charlie Daniels post has by far been my best seller. It brings folks together from across the globe.

Nothing to really talk about, so I'll just bring you up to speed on a few things happening around the cockroach. Sometimes I like my job, and other times I want to hop on a spaceship and enter hyper sleep for about 70 years. Wake up, look around, eat an egg sandwich, then I'd watch Heat, Big Trouble In Little China, and Goonies, then go back to sleep, hyper sleep.

For a quick reminder, I work in the music industry. It's an industry that can repulse me as quickly as it can invigorate me. Imagine running around and got shot at constantly, but you can't see where any of the shots are coming from. So, you start shooting, and you shoot and they shoot and nobody is sure what they're shooting at. Then you realize you've hit something, but you're not sure what it is. This makes no sense, you see. That's the point.

I feel better now.

So, I've been trying to get my house painted for several months now. I tried to get an equity loan, but I couldn't. So, I tried a few more times, and couldn't. I then decided to refinance, and I couldn't. Then I tried again. Success! Or, so I thought. One day before I was supposed to close on the new loan, it fell through. Okay, well technically it didn't fall through - they would give me the loan on one condition. Wait for it... if I painted the house. That's right mo foe's. It didn't meet HUD qualifications. The government had successfully protected me from myself. (The story you just read took place over two months)

On a positive note, I've found my birthday present. Check it out.

If you want to get me something for my birthday, try Johnnie Walker Black. Or, a gift certificate to Frugal MacDougal will work fine.

Finally, here is a text conversation I had today.

Person X: Who is ****** agent?
Me: Pat McGroyne
(several minutes pass by)
Person X: Good thing I showed that to *** ******* you fuck
Me: hahahahahahahahaha





Love ya'll

Flacco hits el sacco

I encourage you to spend some time with this video. At first it may seem just like a nut shot, but listen to the contact. That thud, the kinda fleshy popping sound of the ball hitting the sac. It even has reverb. Then, listen to the other guys' reactions - too funny. Of course, there's the stagger back and fall to the ground. 

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock...

24, is over. I'll be the first to admit, the past several seasons have not been so great, however it was still like pizza, you know? It was still good. I mean, it's Jack Bauer, man. I was very open about the fact that the show should have ended last season, but now that the end is here - I'm sad. I'm super, super sad, like big time sad. I feel all jammed up inside.

While the it's been in decline since season 5, they've really done a great job within the format of the show. Honestly, I'm somewhat amazed that it's lasted this long. I thought that they really pushed it a little too far in season 3, and had trouble really coming back from that point. In other words, they blew their wad. However, it's probably my favorite season, and season 4 was a solid follow-up. Truthfully, Jack should have walked off into the sunrise for good at the point.

(Sigh) - I'm a little surprised that I'm as sad as I am. It's caught me a little off guard. While most of the world will be anticipating the end of Lost, I'll be sitting here, savoring the last few hours of Jack Bauer as the clock runs out on one of my favorite shows of all time.

Thanks for the soon to be 8 days, 24. I know we've only spent a little over a week together, but I'm going to miss you.

Brad's bad movie that's oh so good / ep.7

Well, it's been more than a week then my last post and even longer than that for Brad's bad movie of the week. See - I told you I was bad at weekly segments. There's a lot I want to catch up on, so be on the lookout out for a new posts.

To start off, I owe you a movie of the week - so here we go.

This week's movie is Judgement Night, featuring Emilio Estevez, Denis Leary, Cuba Gooding Jr., and Jeremy Piven. It's an action thriller and features Denis Leary as a scary asshole. Not the comedy scary asshole, but the type that will really hunt you down and kill you. It's one of the first movies I remember seeing Leary in and he really freaked me out.

The whole movie freaked me out, actually. I found it scary as hell. Emilio is on the back-end of his career here, but Gooding Jr. and Piven are really just getting started.

Here's the trailer, the very early 90's trailer.

I reckon' I'll be undertaking the situation.

So last night, I decided I was tired of the Lost being Lost thing. I mean, honestly - I cannot sit through one more slow-mo music montage of people hugging, being reunited, then not, then reunited. There's side time lines, past time lines, present time lines, oblong time lines, real Locke, smoke monster Locke. I need to re-read it, but there is some sort of 'Emperor's New Clothes' thing happening, and it's just not that great. Sorry, but it's not.

All that to say that I gave my TV time to FX last night and checked out their new show 'Justified'. I'm a huge Elmore Leonard, Timothy Olyphant, and Walton Goggins fan, so I had high expectations. Very high expectations. Now that we have one hour in the bag, I can say that I'm intrigued, not sold - but intrigued.




If you're unfamiliar with Olyphant and/or Goggins, let me just say that the casting is perfect. Olyphant is great a playing the hero with a mean streak, and Goggins is hands down the best when it comes to playing the crazy, creepy, hillbilly. It's safe to say that 'Deadwood' fans are happy to have Olyphant back on the screen playing a modern day Seth Bullock, especially after the premature end to the series. My wife would be one of those people.




Now, If the name Shane Vendrell, or Claude Van Damne doesn't mean anything to you, then I suggest that you hurry to your netflix queue and order up The Shield, and make sure it's here in time for the weekend. The Shield was the network's flagship series, and has no doubt set the standard for all FX shows that follow. Also, for more of Goggin's work I suggest getting every film Ray McKinnon has directed, in particular 'The Accountant' and 'Randy and the Mob', and 'Chrystal'.






As far as Mr. Leonard, the author - two words, 'Get Shorty'. 'The Cadillac of mini-vans.'



Even with all that going for it, I have to say the premiere was a tad underwhelming. I guess they do have to pace these things, eh? It wasn't bad by any means, and I imagine by the halfway point of the season I'll be hooked. With Battlestar Galactica gone, Lost sucking, and the time running out on 24, I definitely need a new show to dig into and this may be it.

Then there was one...

 As of yesterday, the two Coreys are no more - there is only one. Unfortunately, one half the popular duo, Corey Haim died of a drug overdose at the age of 38.

I'll admit - Haim was the least favorite of the Coreys, with Feldman being the runaway winner. Feldman, definitely had the better resume, The Goonies, Stand By Me, and his part in The Burbs. However, the Corey combination was a thing teenage girls' dreams were made of, and I'll admit it now - I was pretty jealous.

When you're 12 years old, you have to be a little intimidated by films like License To Drive. I wanted to be cute and funny, you know, score all the hot babes. However, I burned my cute candle out at age five before hitting a string of awkward years. I had buck teeth, poor posture, a mullet, a rat tale, and I haven't had a tan since the age of 9. But don't worry about me. I'm doing alright. Eatin' my Wheaties, drinking milk, and taking my vitamins.

Back to the Coreys.

Both Haim and Feldman didn't really make the transition from child to adult actor, in fact, it wasn't until A&E ran their reality show 'The Two Coreys' several years ago that I really thought about either for about 15 years. Well, more so Corey Haim.

If you didn't see the show, then that's probably a good thing. It was really just sad. Feldman had seemed to find some peace and balance to his life, while Haim had not faired as well. I couldn't bring myself to watch more than 2 or 3 episodes, but it was definitely a foreshadowing of the recent tragedy.

One of the most important things I've learned through the years is that perception and reality are two different things. Not sure how or if that even applies here. I just thought that's a good thing to say.

So, farewell Corey Haim. I'm sorry that you couldn't find peace and happiness in this life. Life is pretty hard sometimes. This song isn't about you, but yet I find it somewhat fitting. Well, except for the parts that are directly about Princess Diana.