Counting sheep...

So, it's over.

I've used my blog to talk 24 before, and now it seems as relevant as ever before. As the clock ended on the series last night, I went to bed counting sheep by trying to list my top ten favorite 24 moments of all time.

What I couldn't do is list them in numerical order, so instead they're listed in order of season. I've included my honorable mentions at the bottom. 

(I apologize that I couldn't find clips of these moments, but I hope you enjoy nonetheless. The whole series can now be streamed on Netflix.)

•  That bitch!

After spending the first day so close to Nina, you'd have considered her a main character that was the Tonto to Jack's Lone Ranger. Sure, she had her shady qualities, but they all did.

In the final hours, the sound of her voice speaking Serbian, or whatever the hell that was made me shit my pants. Seriously, poo everywhere. Well played, 24.

• Hacksaw Jim Duggin

In the first season, Jack's family was at risk, and while we knew that he was crazy, at least we knew why. Or, at least we thought we did. 

They made a huge statement in the first hour of the second season, and let us know without a doubt that shit was 'bout' to get crazy.

    •    Jack and Nina, sitting in a tree.

After that bitch killed Jack's wife, there were many awesome moments in the following seasons. It's hard to narrow them down, but here's my three favorites

    ⁃   Is Wayne Brady going to have to choke a bitch?
First contact since the end of season 1. Nina is trying to not look scared as shit, but she's scared as shit. Also, Jack knows she's scared as shit, so let the mind fucking begin. Nothing like a good throat grab, drag, and slam to get things started.

    ⁃    Lost in translation.
Lost In Translation has got nothing on this. Oh if we could only know what Jack whispered to Nina in the desert after a thwarted attempt to kill him. The look in her eye gave you an idea.

    ⁃    I don't care.
Season 3 - on the plane back from Mexico. Nina thinks she's crippled CTU and will soon be set free. By threatening the pilot, Jack gives Chloe enough time to stop the computer virus. Nina didn't believe him, but Jack responded with 'I don't care what you believe'. However, it was Jack's smile that followed that made it a million times more awesome.

• Death of George Mason

In didn't take long into the 2nd day for 24 to show us how crazy the real time scenarios could get. CTU's resident asshole took a wrong turn at Albuquerque and got a heaping helping of radiation poison.

With less than 24 hours to live, Mason bucked up and went back to work.  This work ethic would lead him to hide in the back of a plane carrying a nuclear weapon, and giving Jack a reason to live.

It was the moment that Jack got ready to bail out that left a mark. The final grasp from Mason, then Jack was gone, leaving nothing but a scared, lonesome Mason and his eminent fate.

•  Death of Ryan Chappelle

Whew, what can you say about this. It was the first moment where both Jack and President Palmer let me down. It was also a point where the series strapped Fonzie in some skis and had the boat on standby.

I guess in the end, you can say it was the definitive moment where the series dropped it's elephant sized balls on the viewer. Like with Mason, it was the moments leading up to the final shot that fucked me up. Jack had to help him out of the helicopter because his legs were shaky - I mean, that's some cold-blooded shit.

    •    You, me, and an axe.

Okay, so there was plenty of shock in season 3, but it was the conversation that Jack and Chase had with their eyes. No words were needed, just a tourniquet.

    •    Don't fight it.

My favorite ending of any season, and probably the most fitting. After a day of doing some hanis in my anus shit, Jack sits in his CTU mobile and has one hell of a sob fest.

It's a moment where we realize that he was indeed affected by his actions. It's a moment of awareness where Jack realizes that his actions that day have changed him forever. Yep, he's going to hell.

    •    What's your primary objective?

Imagine if Superman had lived for a few years as only Clark Kent, then in a shining moment, bypassed the phone booth and just stripped down to the outfit. Well, that's what happened at the end of season 4's first hour, and it was glorious.

    •    Nobody puts baby in a corner

Not much good about season 6. In fact, I try to forget about it. However, it's rare that we get a moment with Jack where he can express his feelings, and the final scene between him and Secretary Heller is one of my favorites of the whole series.

    •    Soul Patch Zombie

It still doesn't make sense, but damn, it was great to see Soul Patch Jesus again. The year off due to the writers strike actually helped. I had some time away from the series and I didn't feel as inclined to care.

Be honest, when Tony showed us his scarred face in season 7 it felt like a friend coming home. Let's not get caught up on the fact that he died and they really couldn't explain that away. I wanted it and so did you . Is he bad, good, good, bad? Who cares? Hell, we were all upset that they killed that hot ass Michelle Dessler. 


Honorable mentions:

• I think I love you.

After her work in season 3, Michelle Dessler could have taken over the series. Remember when she shot that dude for trying to leave the hotel? Damn.

• Jack calls Kim

Season 2 - 'Hey Kim, going to die now saving the world.' Should have been cheeseball and maybe it was, but man, it's getting a little dusty in here. (sniff, sniff)

• Death of a hobbit

So much death in season 5, however, it was Sean Astin's final breath that was the most horrific. Holding his breath knowing that when he finally did breathe he would die an excruciating death from poison gas. WTF?

• Tony saves Jack 

Oh man, when Jack called the 'only person he could trust' in season 4, I really didn't know that Tony was coming in shooting. Beer belly and all.

• Paul dies

This would have been Audrey's ex husband Paul gets his nipples shocked with a lamp cord. However, after taking a bullet for Jack, he's left to die by Jack's orders so that they can save the terrorist and get the pertinent info.

• Jack on Heroin  

Need I say more?

Mulletitus and the search for Pat McGroyne...

Ah, you thought I'd gone away for good, right? That would be a big hells to the no. Instead I spent what should have been a stress free batch week, drinking from the fountain of anxiety. Oh yeah, and I capped it all off with a sleep over at Vanderbilt while they tried to get me to stop pooping and puking. I'll be honest, I need a whole new fleet of undies.

So no movie of the week, no funny vid, no 24 talk - just the GC archives. By the way, the Charlie Daniels post has by far been my best seller. It brings folks together from across the globe.

Nothing to really talk about, so I'll just bring you up to speed on a few things happening around the cockroach. Sometimes I like my job, and other times I want to hop on a spaceship and enter hyper sleep for about 70 years. Wake up, look around, eat an egg sandwich, then I'd watch Heat, Big Trouble In Little China, and Goonies, then go back to sleep, hyper sleep.

For a quick reminder, I work in the music industry. It's an industry that can repulse me as quickly as it can invigorate me. Imagine running around and got shot at constantly, but you can't see where any of the shots are coming from. So, you start shooting, and you shoot and they shoot and nobody is sure what they're shooting at. Then you realize you've hit something, but you're not sure what it is. This makes no sense, you see. That's the point.

I feel better now.

So, I've been trying to get my house painted for several months now. I tried to get an equity loan, but I couldn't. So, I tried a few more times, and couldn't. I then decided to refinance, and I couldn't. Then I tried again. Success! Or, so I thought. One day before I was supposed to close on the new loan, it fell through. Okay, well technically it didn't fall through - they would give me the loan on one condition. Wait for it... if I painted the house. That's right mo foe's. It didn't meet HUD qualifications. The government had successfully protected me from myself. (The story you just read took place over two months)

On a positive note, I've found my birthday present. Check it out.

If you want to get me something for my birthday, try Johnnie Walker Black. Or, a gift certificate to Frugal MacDougal will work fine.

Finally, here is a text conversation I had today.

Person X: Who is ****** agent?
Me: Pat McGroyne
(several minutes pass by)
Person X: Good thing I showed that to *** ******* you fuck
Me: hahahahahahahahaha





Love ya'll

Tick tock, tick tock, tick tock...

24, is over. I'll be the first to admit, the past several seasons have not been so great, however it was still like pizza, you know? It was still good. I mean, it's Jack Bauer, man. I was very open about the fact that the show should have ended last season, but now that the end is here - I'm sad. I'm super, super sad, like big time sad. I feel all jammed up inside.

While the it's been in decline since season 5, they've really done a great job within the format of the show. Honestly, I'm somewhat amazed that it's lasted this long. I thought that they really pushed it a little too far in season 3, and had trouble really coming back from that point. In other words, they blew their wad. However, it's probably my favorite season, and season 4 was a solid follow-up. Truthfully, Jack should have walked off into the sunrise for good at the point.

(Sigh) - I'm a little surprised that I'm as sad as I am. It's caught me a little off guard. While most of the world will be anticipating the end of Lost, I'll be sitting here, savoring the last few hours of Jack Bauer as the clock runs out on one of my favorite shows of all time.

Thanks for the soon to be 8 days, 24. I know we've only spent a little over a week together, but I'm going to miss you.

Sutherland will return to 24, but not Kiefer.

Fox executives released a statement yesterday, putting a lot of speculation to rest. 24 will indeed be returning for a 9th season, and yes, so will Jack Bauer.

However, there's a twist.

In a bold move by Fox executives, they've decided not to renew Kiefer's contract, but instead, recast the role of Jack Bauer. Who will they bring in to fill those shoes? None other than Kiefer's real life dad, Donald Sutherland.

For a while now, Fox and 24 producer Howard Gordon have looked at ways to extend the life of the show - their answer? Extend the life of it's main protagonist, Jack Bauer.

As one Fox executive states, 'We've seen Jack face a lot of threats, from terrorists, nuclear attacks, and death, (you know he did die once) but now, Jack will face a new and more terrifying threat, old age'.

The producers of the show want to bring the reality of old age to the program, and address some of the real life issues the old folks deal with. For example, frequent urination, poor eyesight, hearing loss, erectile dysfunction, and slight dementia will all be factors as this new day unfolds. One writer joked, 'Hell, he'll probably sleep at least 12 or 13 of those hours'.

One of the main challenges for producers is how exactly they want to portray the future 20 years from now. 'We're really torn on flying cars right now' says, Gordon.

So, when the new day begins, will we find Jack in assisted living? 'We haven't ruled that out' says one Fox executive. However, there's already talk that we'll find him within Washington DC, still serving his country as either President or Secretary of Defense. Or perhaps, we'll find Jack trying to rescue his granddaughter, Terri, from a fraternity party.

For now, we'll just have to wait. However, it's clear that the familiar line, 'I don't have much time' holds even more weight now. He literally want have much time, because he's old.

When asked about taking over the role of Jack Bauer, Donald Sutherland just smiled and said 'Jack Bauer's mom asked him who he loved more, her or his country. To this Jack chuckled and responded, "You know that answer" as he snapped her neck. Jack Bauer hates dumb people.'

Your mom is Jack Bauer...

Whether we want it or not, Jack is back. That's right, the poor bastard is about to get into his 8th crunk-ass day; another event that will last exactly 24 hours.

Besides that, what else do we know at this point?

• Jack doesn't work for the government anymore. (sigh)
• Kim is still alive and kicking. (sigh)
• Jack is the most bad-ass grampa ever.
• That lady is still the Prez.
• Bubba Gump works at CTU... so does Starbuck. We also get Acevada from The Shield.
• Location change - NYC. You thought the Cloverfield monster was destructive?

What we don't know...

• Will there be any cougars in NYC? Sexy ones not included.
• Who will rise from the dead this year?
• Will Aaron Pierce be the only person other than Jack to be in all 8 seasons?
• Will Soul patch Jesus return in any capacity.
• Will this finally be the last season?
• Will it finally be revealed that Terri never really died, and that she's been the mastermind behind every single plot line?
• Will anyone care?
• Will anyone watch?