Your mom is a minesweeper.

It's been almost ten years now since I made that glorious, albeit pretentious switch from PC to Mac. I have to say it was a clean break, however, there was just one thing I had to part with that left a little hole in my heart. That little thing was the ever addicting Minesweeper.

To be honest, years went by before I even learned how to play it, but thanks to my brother-in-law I soon became a sweeping machine. I'm talking expert, bitches.

So when I came across this the other day I fell into what I would imagine being a very limited demographic of people who think this is funny.

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Speaking of funny. If I was a band teacher, this would be me. Dad?....

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

Finally, the NBA playoffs are underway. (Thug life) The NBA isn't what it used to be, but this is still a great time of year. Don't believe me? Watch this ownage.

Oops, I crapped my pants...

Well, that was last week actually, but regardless - I'm old. I've tried to fight it, I have... but, given the technology growth in the last 5-10 years, that really equals about a 20 year of generation gap.

I was hanging backstage last night at the Exit In with one of the bands I manage. There were several young bands on the bill that evening, then there was me - old dude. Earlier in the evening, I had dug an old Ocean Pacific wallet out of a drawer to replace the bad ass man purse that was recently stolen. My place in the universe started to solidify when I realized that the Op wallet was indeed, older than every member of every band.

Now the music scene has really changed in Nashville through the years, and there's some really great indie rock happening right now. Hipster music, created by and for hipsters. It is really good shit. It just doesn't seem that long ago that my band played the weekly showcase at the Exit In, however, in hipster years, it was decades ago. If I was to play these kids our old CD they would tool on me. Hell, the already tool on me. Although, I took 'you look like something off Miami Vice ' as a compliment.

As I sit in my robe and watch the NBA playoffs, TNT constantly plugs their new family comedy series, 'Are We There Yet?' produced by Ice Cube. (insert screeching sound...) What?! Ay dios mio. A lot can change in 22 years.

I couldn't find the promo clip for the show, but I did find this recent Dr. Dre commercial. Below that is my first intro to Dr. Dre and Ice Cube. Could you ever have imagined these guys selling Dr. Pepper?

Yeah, Dr. Pepper that ass with bullets.

Mulletitus and the search for Pat McGroyne...

Ah, you thought I'd gone away for good, right? That would be a big hells to the no. Instead I spent what should have been a stress free batch week, drinking from the fountain of anxiety. Oh yeah, and I capped it all off with a sleep over at Vanderbilt while they tried to get me to stop pooping and puking. I'll be honest, I need a whole new fleet of undies.

So no movie of the week, no funny vid, no 24 talk - just the GC archives. By the way, the Charlie Daniels post has by far been my best seller. It brings folks together from across the globe.

Nothing to really talk about, so I'll just bring you up to speed on a few things happening around the cockroach. Sometimes I like my job, and other times I want to hop on a spaceship and enter hyper sleep for about 70 years. Wake up, look around, eat an egg sandwich, then I'd watch Heat, Big Trouble In Little China, and Goonies, then go back to sleep, hyper sleep.

For a quick reminder, I work in the music industry. It's an industry that can repulse me as quickly as it can invigorate me. Imagine running around and got shot at constantly, but you can't see where any of the shots are coming from. So, you start shooting, and you shoot and they shoot and nobody is sure what they're shooting at. Then you realize you've hit something, but you're not sure what it is. This makes no sense, you see. That's the point.

I feel better now.

So, I've been trying to get my house painted for several months now. I tried to get an equity loan, but I couldn't. So, I tried a few more times, and couldn't. I then decided to refinance, and I couldn't. Then I tried again. Success! Or, so I thought. One day before I was supposed to close on the new loan, it fell through. Okay, well technically it didn't fall through - they would give me the loan on one condition. Wait for it... if I painted the house. That's right mo foe's. It didn't meet HUD qualifications. The government had successfully protected me from myself. (The story you just read took place over two months)

On a positive note, I've found my birthday present. Check it out.

If you want to get me something for my birthday, try Johnnie Walker Black. Or, a gift certificate to Frugal MacDougal will work fine.

Finally, here is a text conversation I had today.

Person X: Who is ****** agent?
Me: Pat McGroyne
(several minutes pass by)
Person X: Good thing I showed that to *** ******* you fuck
Me: hahahahahahahahaha





Love ya'll