Sunday, September 25, 2011

TALES FROM CARMAGEDDON - 'Ten Minutes with Tom'


Last time we left off, our courageous hero (me), was on a collision course with the event known as 'Carmaggedon'. Since then his blog has remained empty, leaving some folks to ponder his fate… until now.

Ghostcockroach presents...
TALES FROM CARMAGEDDON - 'Ten Minutes with Tom'

It was the year of the celebrity, 2011. As a lover of all things film and tv, my encounters this year has brought the inner hot dog eating, roller skating Brad child front and center. I've been straight geeking, yo. 

Brief sightings and encounters are awesome, but during the weekend of Carmageddon - I had one of the coolest experiences of my life. It's an experience known now as 'Ten with Tom'. It followed two other pretty kickass events - 'Ten with Rita' and '5 with Mary Kay Place'. Oh, and 'Awkward few seconds with Eugene Levy' was noteworthy as well. 

It all happened at McCabe's Guitar Shop in Santa Monica. It was a rare, but well deserved perk of the industry that I've chosen to work in - the music industry :( It's here I found myself in a corner conversing one on one with Tom Hanks. Ten minutes of uninterrupted conversation with perhaps the greatest actor of our generation, and somebody I have grown up watching on the small and big screen.

This full story is best told in person, as it involves animation, reenactments, and a brief role playing scenario. But, what I will do here is release rare photos from the night. 

After talking with Tommy, I couldn't resist getting my picture taken with Hollywood royalty. A somewhat simple task, right? Wrong…. wrong. It took several times to get a picture that I could actually show people. Here's how it all unfolded. 

Attempt # 1:
Point and click - easy. Well, that is if your smart phone is set to camera and not video camera. Watch as the hijinks ensue. 



Attempt # 2:
Okay - we've got it. Feeling good. I take a few pictures for some other people, then the Hanks and Levy crew say their goodbyes. As I sit down to look at the picture with me and Tommy - my stomach drops when I see this. 


Attempt # 3: 
WTF? You always snap two photos! I might cry - wait, I hear Rita still talking in the hallway. I'm pushing it now, but let's face it - I'll never get this opportunity again. I peek out in the hallway and Tom is texting. 'Hey, Tom? Can I get one with you and Rita?' Sure he says...


Attempt # 4: 
You always take two :) 


Then there is this... the blurry corner convo shot.


Tuesday, July 12, 2011

Look kids, Big Ben and Parliament...


I sat down with Brad Talley recently to talk with him about his upcoming LA trip. 

Interviewer: Brad, I understand you're traveling to LA this weekend.
Brad: Yes, that's correct!

(I): But, but, but, Brad - have you heard about Carmageddon?
(B): Yes, about a million f**king times.

(I): Oh goodness, Brad.
(B): …….

(I): Can't you go another time? Do you have to go now?
(B): Yes, but I still have to go this time.

(I): Why, why do you have to go this time?
(B): Because of work. I have artists playing shows.

(I): Oh, man - okay. Why did you do that?!
(B): I didn't, these were booked before we knew about this.

(I): Some reports say that traffic can be backed all the way to the Mexican border!
(B): …..

(I): Some say to the moon!
(B): ……

(I): Did you know there is a web-
(B): Shut the f**k up.

(I): There's also a twitter page… called Carmageddon.
(B): ……..

(end transcript)

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Activate dynothrusters...

If you haven't seen the story about the Southwest pilot unknowingly jibber jabbing over the air traffic control channel, then just watch the video below.

(warning - heed the warning)


Okay, so now we're all caught up.

As a 36 year-old fellow, I'm a realist and a pessimist. In other words, nothing much shocks me - hell, I work in the music industry, it's has more villainy and scum than the Mos Eisley Cantina. Yet, this video, it shocked me. Just when I though all naivety was gone, this caught me off guard.

I don't mind flying. In fact, I rather enjoy it. There have been times it freaked me out, but as I get older the less anxious I've become. And, there's always drugs.

I've always thought of pilots being distinguished, a little better than me. Sure, they have their flaws, but you're surely supposed to be focused in the cockpit - doing smart stuff. You know, math and shit. Much like how I imagine a surgeon. A superior mind with physical reflexes and precision, doing the job that I can't do.

I'm not sure what freaked me out more, to hear the pilot talking like this, or the simple fact that his dumbass hit the wrong switch. He cluelessly babbles away, while cutting off communication between air traffic control and the other aircraft flying around trying to land.

They can't all be Good Ole Capt'n Sully, Hero of the Hudson, right? But, they could at least be a little better than Hollywood and Wolfman from Top Gun.



In other Southwest related news, if you fly with them this month, be sure to read the Spirit Magazine. One of my artists, The Apache Relay are featured as one of the forty up and coming artists.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

How you like them apples?

Normally - trips to NYC are pretty spectacular. However, last weeks work based adventure provided more stressful moments that peaceful ones.

In the end, the energy of the city and the company of good friends turned my frown upside down.

Sunday, I took a nice walk across the Brooklyn Bridge, over to ground zero, then down through the financial district to Battery Park. It was there that I found myself on the set of Men In Black 3, and yes I saw Will Smith, and Jada :) After that, I popped up to Tribecca so I could snap a shot of the Ghostbusters firehouse.

A good day, indeed.

NYC Summer 2011

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Happiness is...

I can't tell you how much I love this video. The coughing, the impact of the fall, the fact that the beat never stops, the snoring mixed with the death rattle cough. Hell, just the wallpaper or wood paneling, or whatever the hell it is.

This is the cure for any bad day.

The Return...

After a long hiatus from my blog, I've decided it's time to come back. Like when Tony Almeida came back on 24.

Here's a little of what I've been up to...




Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Hey Buddy! You need whole new parts buddy!

Every now and then, I get to enjoy the aspect of my job that brought me to this place to begin with, the music. Tonight, I’m enjoying a rare moment of just sitting and listening. No drama, just checking the record for any strange glitches and faux pas. Throw in some Bombay Sapphire, and you have a hell of an evening.

I’m not allowed to say what I’m listening to just yet, as this would surely show up in somebody’s Google alert, and my loose lips would have sunk a ship. Mine. I will say that I’m listening to one of the greatest songwriters of our lifetime, and right now it’s easy to see why.

Since I have some time, I figured I’d catch up on my blogging. I have so much I’d like to jump into, but the music tonight is sort of dictating the content. In other words, not the right time to tell you if I think Jay Cutler is a pussy willow or not.

No, the sounds tonight feature tales of love, and love lost - relationships that have ended, and others that have yet to begin. Including the pain that surrounds all of that. I’m not sentimental just yet, but it does tap into something I’ve been thinking about over the past week. That is that I have some wonderful people in my life right now.

To that sentiment, have you ever wondered what your process of selection is for those that you surround yourself with? Of course, some people are related, and some just happen to occupy the same space with you, albeit a job or some weird roommate you get stuck with. Not to diminish those relationships. But still, even among family and co-workers – you vibe with some more than others.

Maybe I’m over analyzing, but I’m realizing that I use humor as a way of finding those I love. My closest friends (a small group) have one thing in common – a great sense of humor, topped off with an outstanding laugh. Nothing makes me happier.







In my experience, a good laugh can tell you a lot about a person. A strong laugh is a sign of security and confidence, unless it’s a fake one. But, you can usually catch those. A good laugh usually comes with the ‘what you see is what you get’ personality. Granted, sometimes that visible personality can be that of an asshole. Still, there’s no hiding.






There’s nothing I’d rather do than sit with my friends and laugh. You know who you are, and I appreciate and love everyone of you.

Okay, the record is almost over. Perfect timing…

Not pictured, but thinking of Jessica S, Bendte, and most recently Daina. Oh, and Jilly Bean and Houck Finn. 



Thursday, January 20, 2011

We're putting the band back together...

 

In 2010, Nashville’s Awesome Paranormal Society (NAPS) embarked on its first investigation. In a combined investigation with NADS, (North Carolina’s Awesome Demonic Seekers), ten of us set sail for Louisville, KY and its infamous Waverly Hills Sanatorium.

Now, it’s official. We’re heading back in 2011…

The fact that I’ve intentionally spent the night in what is considered one of the most haunted places in the world has garnered a variety of reactions. From fascination, to hibby jibbies and shock - it can definitely be a conversation starter, or stopper. More so, I think folks are intrigued that I’d want to do this. Either they don’t believe, and think it’s a waste of time and money, or they do believe and are genuinely afraid to mess with the unknown or paranormal.

You may have seen my four part mocumentary about our trip, however, I’ve never taken the time to talk seriously about my experience and my reasons for wanting to do this. Now that we’re prepping for our return trip, I figure it’s a good time.

I’ve decided that perhaps it’s best if I interview myself. That way, I’ll provide myself with an opportunity to answer some of the questions I tend to get.

INTERVIEWER (me):
Brad, what in the world would make you want to do something like this?
BRAD: My reasons for wanting to do this are pretty simple. I mean, you’ve seen The Goonies haven’t you? Seriously, it’s just sort of a fun adventure, one that speaks to my inner child. Five of us in the group are hometown friends, and we pretty much grew up together. As kids, we’d spend our time together going on ghost hunts. Granted, it was usually in our own houses, but it was still a blast.

INTERVIEWER (me):
I have to assume that you enjoy watching shows on the paranormal, such as ‘Ghost Hunters.'
BRAD: Absolutely, ‘Ghost Hunters’ in particular is where I first heard about Waverly Hills. I was having a conversation with my friend, and fellow GH fan, Neilson Hubbard, and he mentioned to me that you could actually go stay the night there. After a year or so of talking, we finally made it happen.

I'm most certainly intrigued by paranormal shows. ‘Ghost Hunters’ being the main one.  I’m a fan of old buildings anyway, and I just loved that these guys and gals would walk around in the dark searching for paranormal activity. I thought it would be so cool, but at the same time wondered if I could even do it without getting really freaked out.

I was also fascinated by their experiences. Obviously, this is television, and I’m well aware that things can be fake. But, what if they weren’t? Some of the evidence is indeed compelling. I just needed to try and have my own experiences.

INTERVIEWER (me):
So, would you say you were a skeptic or a believer?
BRAD: Oh, very skeptical. But, why not go and see for yourself? Like most people, I’ve heard ghost stories all my life. A lot of these stories have come from some of the smartest, trustworthy people I know. Others not so much. I’ve had friends who have had experiences, and I had my own years ago that I’d sorta written off over time.

I think because I chose to go do this, people assume that I believe in ghosts. That’s not true, not in the classical sense at least. Again, if you could go somewhere and experience something paranormal, why wouldn’t you?

INTERVIEWER (me): I think a lot of people are cautious to mess with things that they can’t understand. Would you agree?
BRAD: Sure, I can understand and respect that. There’s a part of me that gets concerned I’ll experience something that I can’t quite process. However, while I’m open to idea of paranormal activity, at least in a scientific sense, I’m not as open to the idea of Patrick Swayze coming back to help protect Demi Moore.

INTERVIEWER (me):
When you say you’re open to paranormal activity in a scientific sense, what does that mean exactly? Explain that for our readers.
BRAD: Well, as I mentioned earlier, I don’t really believe in ghosts in the classical sense. What I mean by that is, I don’t necessarily believe  a ‘ghost’ would be any proof of a spiritual afterlife. I am open to the idea that there are things going on that I, as a human being can’t quite sense or comprehend. For example, the human eye is limited to a small portion of the electromagnetic spectrum. The ear as well has a limited range of frequency.

Let’s be clear though, in saying this, I’m not trying to say that 1) I believe in ghosts, and 2) any of what I’m saying would explain why if they did exist, they would be hanging out at this sanatorium. The truth is - I just don’t have a freaking clue.

INTERVIEWER (me): Okay, okay - so you don’t necessarily believe in ghosts, but you’re open to accepting that there are things you don’t understand.
BRAD: Right. I believe in what is real and I believe in science. At the same time, I’m in no way arrogant enough to think I have it all figured out either. The reality is, the experiences we have or don’t have will be ours. Maybe we catch some interesting evidence like we did last year.  Perhaps other people see apparitions this time. Regardless, we’re not going to unravel the mysteries of the universe, we’ll just be left with more questions. Again, why not go? If you told me I had a good chance of seeing a UFO at mile marker 51 on I65, I’d go.

INTERVIEWER (me):
How about we talk about your last visit? You actually had some personal experiences, and caught some strange things on tape, right?
BRAD:



The Sanatorium itself is just ominous. When you pull up, you can’t help but be in awe of the building. It’s dark and brooding, and it just seems alive. Not in a ghostly sense, but you can feel the history of the building. It’s almost as if it’s breathing.

Honestly, that night, it didn’t feel that scary. Creepy? Sure. I get creeped out in my own house in the dark, so to be in a dark abandoned tuberculosis hospital where 60,000 plus people died is naturally a little eerie. But, all in all, nobody was terrified or scared. It didn’t quite give me that hair on the back of my neck sorta feeling I would have expected.



There were several personal experiences throughout the night, but for the most part, we wrote them off. It was dark, and it was very easy to accept that your eyes were playing tricks on you. Most of the group was made up of skeptics, but the two most skeptical both saw apparitions. One guy was standing in a room on the 5th floor by himself, turned around and saw somebody standing in the corner of the room. My cousin, Matt saw the infamous ‘creeper’ ghost on the 4th floor.





There were a couple of sounds. Three of us were in a room when we heard what sounded like a lady clearing her throat. Another person heard a woman moaning. There were a few that claimed to have been touched, mainly on their ankles, which is something that is commonly reported there. There were definitely a couple of shadows from time to time. I did see a flash of light that I didn’t mention, and later in the night somebody else described seeing the same type of flash. Again, we dismissed a lot of these experiences, and honestly they were probably nothing.

There was one bit of evidence that we discovered on site that was interesting. Several of us were recording a lot of audio throughout the night. During an on-site  playback we discovered our first EVP (Electronic Voice Phenomenon). We didn’t hear it at the time, but when played back, you can hear what sounds like children singing. Spooky, eh?





INTERVIEWER (me): But after you guys got home, you discovered more, right?
BRAD: Yeah, it was a few days later and I get a call from a fellow NAPS member. He’d been listening to some of the audio he recorded and found something he wanted me to hear. It was shocking, honestly. He and two more were in a room on the 3rd floor doing an EVP session, when you hear what sounds like two footsteps and a disembodied voice say what clearly sounds like ‘whore’. They didn’t hear it at the time.

So, I got to thinking. I didn’t record much audio, and I didn’t hear anything on that - but, I did record some video which also records audio. It’s best to watch the ‘Reveal’ episode of NAPS, but I had captured two really strong EVP’s.

INTERVIEWER (me): 
How did you react to that?
BRAD: Shocked, absolutely shocked. These two were pretty strong. There were a few more, but they were just too questionable to post. In other words, I could debunk if I wanted. These two were harder to dismiss.

INTERVIEWER (me)
: How so?
BRAD: Well, you’d have to watch the clips first, but trust me - I spent several late nights trying to debunk. I slowed down the audio, went frame by frame. I spent many hours with the clips.

INTERVIEWER (me): Wow, that’s pretty fascinating. Does this mean that you’re a believer now?
BRAD: Eh, no and yes. If anything, it makes me more excited to go back. I can’t explain the footage, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t an explanation. But, even still - that explanation may involve the paranormal. I have no clue. That’s why I want to have more experiences. I think we’ll all approach the night a little differently, more seriously than before.

INTERVIEWER (me): Will it make it scarier than before? Now that you have this initial sort of evidence.
BRAD: I don’t think so. The clips themselves don’t make my feel frightened, more intrigued than anything.

INTERVIEWER (me):
Alright, well we look forward to talking with you following your next visit. When will that be again?
BRAD: We’ll be going back May 30th.

INTERVIEWER (me): Sounds exciting, Brad. We appreciate you taking time to sit down and discuss your experience in a little more detail.
BRAD: Absolutely, my pleasure. I appreciate the interview.

INTERVIEWER (me): That’s Brad Talley, co-founder of NAPS, Nashville’s Awesome Paranormal Society. For more info on NAPS, and to hear more stories from their first visit to Waverly, check out NAPS: The Complete Series on ghostcockroach.blogspot.com.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Ex-squeeze me? Baking powder?

Here we go - the first post of the new year. I’ve decided to stick with my theme of being more personal, and after much thought, I’m choosing to start off the year with one of the most personal of all posts.

It’s something that very few people know about me, and most people that do know have only found out in the past year or so. Can you believe that, something that people don’t know about me? I mean, I am sorta known for not having a filter. And, no, it’s not my cervical rib. The big reveal is this, since I was 11 years old, I have been struggling with obsessive compulsive disorder. Yep, OCD.

One reason I’ve never told many people, is that it’s very difficult to explain this the effects of this disorder. In a lot of ways, the seriousness of OCD has been diminished throughout the years. In fact, it’s almost become a joke. Anytime somebody repeats a process or a question, they quickly throwout, ‘that’s just my OCD’. Well, maybe, but not likely. Even if someone is really suffering from OCD, those on the outside can’t see the complex and grueling mechanism that is happening internally. It just comes off as more of a nervous tick or the result of too much caffeine.

As I’ve grown older with the disorder, I’ve experienced a wide variety of the damage OCD can do. In the past, I’ve found comfort learning about other people’s experiences, so I figured it may be time for me to open up a bit.

That said, here goes…

When I was 11, I started feeling the need to say ‘excuse me’, or ‘I’m sorry’ for every little thing I did, even if it wasn’t warranted. Not only did I feel this insanely strong urge to say it, I also felt the urge to repeat it over and over until I felt comfortable that somebody heard me. Or, that I said it in the right way. It eventually just developed into one phrase - ‘excuse me, I’m sorry’, or the variation ‘I’m sorry, excuse me’. I was already an annoying brat, and this didn’t help my mom’s sanity.

As I progressed into my teens, I started getting more of what’s now considered the classic symptom of washing my hands repeatedly. I just could not get them ‘clean’. I would wash them at least twice, usually more. I would be convinced that I didn’t get this one spot, an invisible spot, which constantly changed with each hand washing. So, I’d keep washing over and over till it ‘felt’ clean. I’d even just apply the soap to that particular spot.

It wasn’t just a my exterior that felt unclean, it was also my interior. Growing up in a church environment is easy prey for OCD. Let’s face it, it’s already a similar cycle. Sin, feel guilty, repent, feel better. Again though, this manifested into something more. Instead of putting my sins in a sack and repenting all at once, I felt the strong desire to do this every time I sinned. Of course, even that is subjective, but I made sure I was accountable for everything. Every curse word, every dirty thought, just thinking a curse word was bad. You can’t imagine the anxiety and guilt I felt over the normal teenage act of masturbation.

I came up with new phrases to say aloud, although these were more mumbled. At any moment I felt I had sinned or done something inappropriate, I would quickly ask for forgiveness. ‘Please forgive me, Lord, I’m sorry’ and it’s variation, ‘I’m sorry, Lord, please forgive me.’ This went on for years my friends.

When I was 16, I had my first anxiety, or panic attack as they’re called. You never forget your first, right? If this was an earthquake, it would be the equivalent of California breaking off into the Pacific ocean. I won’t recount the whole story, but the anxiety manifested itself physically in a way I had no idea was even possible.

It would be at least a year or two before I began to feel normal again. The year following was filled with aftershocks, smaller panic attacks, most likely brought on by fear of a panic attack itself. I think I missed the maximum number of days you can miss in a school year and not fail. I would often start to have an attack while driving to school, only to turn around and go back home. Eventually I would learn how to handle and cope with these attacks, but it was one of the more challenging things I’ve ever gone through.

It was in this time that I was first diagnosed with general anxiety disorder, and the first time I’d ever heard the term, OCD. Just understanding or knowing what these things were brought a little comfort, but no treatment ensued.

Over next several years, the OCD remained present in my life. Sometimes worse than others, but always there. I broke deadbolt locks, because I couldn’t stop locking them. Even after I would turn the lock, I would continue pushing and pushing until I felt okay enough to walk away. Same with light switches. I would flip them off, then continue to press down until the urge subsided. I would break the clicker on my car, because I couldn’t stop clicking the locks. I had trouble with the refrigerator door too. I just couldn’t settle myself that it was fully shut. Oh yes, I did continue to wash the shit out of my hands.

Among other things, I refused to touch door handles, flushed the toilet with my foot, held my breath in crowds of people, and all of this just became normal. Somewhat manageable, in fact. For years I was afraid of food, and I would have you, or somebody look at my chicken or beef multiple times to make sure it was okay. That sucked.

On a scale of one to ten, the urges would fluctuate throughout the years. Sometimes they would rage, but sometimes I would hardly notice. I had routines, and those routines were mostly something I could keep hidden.

As I mentioned, the disorder grows with you. It’s arguable to say that I’ve matured, but what little I have, OCD has matured with me. To have lived with OCD for so long, I was still unaware of the damage it could do. Then, a few years ago, it brought the pain - much like Clubber Lang in Rocky III. I’ll reserve the details to the select few that helped me through this time, but it would indeed be the most difficult time of my life.



Until that point, II didn’t fully realize the complexity of the the disorder. Not only can it make you think you have germs on your hand, but it can also make you fully believe that you’ve done things you’ve never done. More so, that you’d be capable of doing these things. It was the most exhausting, grueling, and menacing things I’ve ever had to deal with. I can’t ever imagine taking my own life, but I truly did want to die. It took years to heal - years, and I’ll never be quite the same.

Since dying really wasn’t an option, all I could really do was fight, and fighting meant finding help. It took awhile, but I eventually discovered that there was an OCD clinic at Vanderbilt. It’s not something they really advertise, but it’s sorta like The A-Team - if you need them, and if you can find them, then they will fuck your OCD all up. By the way, that’s two Mr. T references for those that are counting.



My experience at the OCD clinic has indeed been life altering. I also learned that I was really good at being OCD. So good, actually, that I was asked to be a case study for residents at Vanderbilt. It was a horribly embarrassing experience that lasted several months, but there was no way I could pass up the opportunity to directly or indirectly help anybody that suffers with OCD.

That’s the real reason behind this post. At some point, this blog may help someone who is dealing with OCD. If nothing else, maybe it will just bring some awareness among those of you that frequent the ‘roach.’ Hell, it may just make you afraid of me, but that’s a chance I’ll have to take.

With help, I’ve learned to co-exist with the disorder. I continue to be treated, and while it’s not something that completely dissipates, I learned to cope and to manage. I still have some of the urges, but I don’t engage them. Life is a better place these days.

If you do suffer with OCD, or just want to discuss further, feel free to email me. Better yet, buy me some whiskey. I do love the whiskey.

Click here to learn more about OCD.