'Manning to Garcon' : What I learned from the NFL week 3

• The sky is falling in Tennessee. How is it Coach Fisher always finds shelter? I like 'Fish' a lot. Class act, great football mind. Maybe we couldn't do better... I don't know. I do know that even the most outspoken reporters in this town dare not blaspheme the 'Stache', for fear of going to hell. When I shit my pants, I change my underwear. Change isn't always bad.
• Brady Quinn learned that looks can indeed only get so far. Time to do what you were made to do BQ, join the cast of the new Melrose Place on the CW.
• The way Jemarcus Russell reads defenses makes my fairly damn certain I'd kick his ass in Madden.
• Ole' Gunslinger Brett Farve just shot everyone the bird. I get it, Brett. You still got enough in the tank to make 1 amazing play out of 200. It really was damn impressive.
• Marc Sanchez - I'm not gay, but I might would fuck you. Just sayin...
• Tom Brady - you're fucking out, Marc Sanchez is fucking in. Just kidding, Tom. I love to see you fired up. I also love when I can lip read your F-bombs.
• The Bengals gave the Steelers a shit sandwich with extra mayo.
  
• My Super Bowl pick is Baltimore.
• I'm gonna miss the shit out of Chad Pennington.
• Just when I thought 'Manning to Harrison' was the most annoying thing ever, along came 'Manning to Pierre Garcon'.
• Larry Fitzgerald's brother thought tweets were invisible.
• Congrats to the St. Louis Rams for entering the UFL by default.
• Washington Redskins, meet the team at HBO, we'll be setting up our cameras next July. Also, you really could have just created a bionic man with the money you paid Haynesworth, and you wouldn't have carry it off the field on a cart.
• I love the color green. Seattle made sweet monkey love to the color green.
• Jay Cutler solved the he problem from Good Will Hunting and left on the visiting team's locker room chalkboard, just because he could. He also lit them up like a cheap cigar.
• The Kansas City Chiefs just ranked in the BCS poll.
• Terrell Owens just goes with the plays that are called.
• Tony Romo has watched too many Brett Farve tapes.
• In the words of Chris Berman 'Daylight comes and you've got to Delhomme'. Translation: stop getting your haircut while wearing your helmet, and get the fuck outta Charlotte. Preferably during the early AM hours. Not much traffic at 3am.
• Schwartz fever has hit Detroit. Catch it. Best thing to hit Detroit since Robocop.
• Saints rock.
• Tampa Bay, the CFL called and they want Byron Leftwich back.
• The Texans need medication.
• The Bronco's are 3-0. (head spins around on neck)
  
• Phillip Rivers is a penis.

Never underestimate the power of the Schwartz! What I Learned from the NFL Week 2.

• Playoffs?! Playoffs?!. The Titans are the best 0-2 team in football and they're officially in trouble. The loss of Jim Schwartz is more devastating then the loss of Albert Haynesworth. (I really just wanted to make a Spaceballs reference). This Sunday versus the Jets might as well be the Super Bowl. Also, Chris Johnson looks like the Predalien.
• Speaking of the Jets, it doesn't suck to be Mark Sanchez. Rex Ryan reminds me of a cross between Fog-Horn Leg Horn and North Carolina prank phone call legend, Charlie Whisnut.
• Andre Johnson is a stud.
• Jay Cutler is who we thought he was! Cutler quote of the week, 'look guys, it's not rocket science, but if so, I'd be killing that shit'.
• After completing 24-26 passes, Kurt Warner would make an atheist want to believe. You see, Kurt Warner plays for Team Jesus.
  
• Frank Gore ran all over the Seahawks. Who cares? Oh, fantasy owners.
  
• I learned that a team could keep the ball for 46 minutes and still lose.
• Tampa Bay just realized what the rest of the country already knew, Byron Leftwich is their quarterback.
• Eli is poised. I know, weird right?
• The Cowboys are definitely America's team. Spends a lot of money, has a lot of debt, and yet can't get united.
• The Bronco's are the worst 2-0 team in football.
• The Brown's have the perfect name. They leave shit stains all over the field.
• The curtain may very well be closing on the Patriot's dynasty. Still doesn't suck to be Tom Brady.
• Nobody slept better than Marvin Lewis on Sunday night.
• If you try to catch a touchdown pass with your face mask, you will not have a job the next day.
• The Ravens are pretty bad-ass.
• The AFC West maybe the worst conference, if not, then the NFC West. Regardless, NFL in the West sucks.
• Phillip Rivers is a penis.