You Never Forget Your First - A Tribute to G-Spot, my first intern.

This is dedicated to Gabe Simon (G-Spot), my first intern. Gabe was a hard worker, at being a slacker. Like most 20 year olds, he thought he knew everything. However, he knew just enough to be dangerous, and I'm thankful he did not sink our small, growing business.

This a collection of photos, stories, and quotes from our time together.













Hi, I'm Gabe - I wear girls jeans. They make room for my extra large vagina.













Quotes from Brad to Gabe:

• You are the reason I don't want to have kids, I look at you and think, damn, they're cute at first, but they grow into this (pointing at him).
• I drink b/c of you
• When you get here, knock 3 and 1/2 times, then say - 'I got yo doughnuts'.
• I get so mad when I see you that it makes me spit up blood.
• (when asked if I was coming to see his band) If I wanted to see a 7 piece band, I'd watch Muppet Show re-runs.

(Gabe checking in when I had swine flu)
Gabe: Are you feeling better?
Brad: Yes, kind sir. I know you wish me dead
Gabe: I sent that like three days ago
Brad: What the f**k does that have to do with anything? I may have lost control of my bowels, but I can still read dates and times.

(regarding an assignment that Gabe waited to the last minute to do.)
Brad: Do you still need me to answer those questions?
Gabe: No, the assignment was due already.
Brad: Well, why didn't you ask me all the questions the other night?
Gabe: Dude, you sounded like you didn't want to talk to me, like you weren't interested and wanted to get off the phone with me.
Brad: I did, I was trying to watch Dexter man. You did wait to the last minute, you know.

There are many more stories that I'd like to tell, but they're better told in person. I will leave you with a few more pics.

























This is a post I ran on Facebook -

Beware of this guy. He claims to be my intern, but the truth is I found him in my yard one day trying to mow the grass with a broom. He introduces himself as Gabe, however he only responds to 'Spudnuts' or'Ricky Roo'. He also wears girls jeans and goes to yard sales looking for 'My Little Pony's' in an attempt to finish his collection. If you see him, it's best to pretend that you're on the phone. If not, he will follow you and ask lots of questions.

Brett Favre, Brett Favre, Brett Favre, Brett Farve. NFL Week 4

• The Titans window has shut.
• Jack Del Rio doesn't fuck around. Canceled David Garrard's radio show. That's just awesome.
  
• I respect the Denver Broncos.
• Tony Romo obviously doesn't know who Champ Bailey is.
• Wade Phillips always looks like he's standing in parking lot and can't find his car.
• Jay Cutler is feeling at home in Chicago.
• The Lions winning streak is over.
• Payton Manning just likes fucking with people at this point. He brain has gone plaid. (Spaceballs reference)
• The Seahawks are like the team that plays the Harlem Globetrotters.
• Rush Limbough put in a bid to buy the St. Louis Rams. I put in my bid to pee on the St. Louis Rams.
• Ole gunslinger blew me away. I mean damn.
• Sucked being Aaron Rodgers, they came after him like a Sherman tank.
• The Saints welcomed little Marky Sanchez to the NFL.
• The Panther didn't play this week. How's that different from any other week. (ba dum dump) Take my wife... please.
• Tom Brady is a man - it's not hard.
• Buc rhymes with suc - coincidence? I think not.
• The Texans proved they can play with the big boys by beating the Raiders.
• Eric Mangini can smile - but still lost.
• Bengal fever baby!
• Mike Tomlin sure can motivate a mother fucker. I need a Mike Tomlin of my very own.
• Phillip River's looks so good with a crooked helmet that has grass and mud clumps in it.