Wednesday, February 17, 2010

That's how you do it, son.

It's been years since Charlie Daniels battled for his soul against the devil, and now, he faces a new threat. Who would dare challenge Daniels again? Well, that would be Austrian violinist and composer, Joban Tonkelsac.



After months of lip biting, the 33 year old Tonkelsac has decided to go public with his distaste for country legend Charlie Daniels, in particular, his recent appearance in a Geico insurance commercial.

If you haven't yet seen the popular commercial, then take a few minutes to get up to speed.





Tonkelsac couldn't keep quiet any longer, and decided to open up during a recent interview with Teen Strings magazine. During the interview, Tonkelsac was asked if there were any up and coming American violinists that kids should keep their ears on. The Austrian legend quickly responded, 'yeah, Charlie Daniels, son. He knows how to git-r-done, right?' Sensing Tonkelsac's irritation, the reporter asked if he was referring to the somewhat humorous Geiko commercial 'I bloody well am. It's 'bleep', nothing but 'bleep bleep, it's musical masturbation!' 'Gimmie this fine hand crafted instrument that's hundreds of years old and let me have a seizure on it!' Tonkelsac yelled. He continued on saying, 'the sense of entitlement and arrogance is very indicative of the American attitude. He even steals food as he waddles off, it's 'bleep' embarrassing.' Tonkelsac also adds that his cheapest bow is $12,000 and says if anybody ever treated his the way Daniels did he'd quote, 'bleeping bleep them up.'

Daniels fans quickly came to his defense. One fan, youtube user tjgr17 fired back saying 'No. your wrong. He looks like a man with extreme talent (I'm a huge Charlie Daniels fan) unlike anyone of the gang banger assholes today. Mr. Daniels is also a patriot who deserves our respect.'

Other fans were quick to point out that Joban sounds very similar to Satan, and that the devil was once again back to challenge Daniels for his soul.

Tonkelsac did say that Daniels would never be able to play a Bach Partita with such poor technique. A spokesman from Daniel's camp offered the following statement. 'Charlie Daniels apologizes for any offense that the commercial caused, but he will not apologize for being American. Furthermore, Charlie isn't interested in playing 'Pita's', he only plays music made in America and Heaven.' The spokesperson closed by extended a formal invitation to Joban to participate in the 2010 Galax Fiddler's Convention.

No word yet if Tonkelsac will attend.

1 comment:

gillespie said...

Charlie isn't interested in playing 'Pita's', he only plays music made in America and Heaven.'What an ignorant asshole. I am taking away the catch phrase, "That's how you do it son."