Winners and Losers - NFL week 5

Well, we're through the first 5 weeks of the season, and I thought I'd mix it up a little. Instead of the past week, I'm going to look more at what I've learned so far this season.

First off, the biggest surprises:

• Gotta go with the Broncos on this one. I really thought Josh McDaniels might be looking for a new job next year. Not just for losing games, but more so running off Jay Cutler and potentially Brandon Marshall then losing games.
• For the first few weeks I was in denial, but then they beat Dallas and New England I had to eat the proverbial crow. Looking back, the lucky tip in game one may have not been luck after all, but instead the arrival of Johnny 'Good' Karma.
• Second, the Bengals. Yep, 4-1. Hard Knocks that shit.
• Miami is still winning games with the wildcat. Pretty amazing.
• The 49'er's are showing up to play, and playing hard. Welcome back San Francisco.
• Oh yeah, that Brett Farve game against Green Bay. Really didn't think he had it in him.

Disappointments:

• Well, you don't have to look any further than my hometown of Nashville, TN. 13-3 to 0-5, and it's not going to get any easier when they head to Foxboro on Sunday. The window of opportunity in Tennessee has shut and the question is, where do they go from here. First stop - probably a quarterback in the first round of the 2010 draft.
• The Oakland Raiders have actually digressed. How is that even possible?
• The Carolina Panthers. Very similar to the Titans in a way. Too much talent to be losing.
• The Colts are still good. Damn it man.

What I Learned From NFL Week One - Observations From An Average Fan

• The Titans still look good. Some weak spots, but nothing that can't get better as the season goes along.
• The Colts still scare and annoy me. I still feel total elation when Payton throws a pick. Oh yeah, I learned what '219 z fake crack post' is. Thanks Coach Dungy!
  
• The Texans still suck. Matt Schaub has no peripheral vision.
• Jacksonville needs a pass play or two.
• Mark Sanchez may very well be the 6th 2nd coming of Joe Namath.
• Big Ben will rip your heart out if you don't get pressure on him. Well, even then.
• Larry Fitzgerald - Palomalu is out... you're next. Don't fight it.
• The Seahawks destroyed the St. Louis Rams. Who cares?
• Samurai Mike may lead the 49's to the top of the NFC West.
• As much as I love Jay Cutler, and I do... he couldn't dodge the karmic boomerang. Also, Jay Cutler has elephant balls and will throw into quadruple coverage.
  
• Josh McDaniels got the better side of the karmic boomerang.
• The Bears are who we thought they were. Actually, not really. Urlacher will miss the year.
• I'm sad that the season finale of Hard Knocks aired last week, cause I'd pay some damn good money see the camera rolling in the locker room post-game yesterday.
• The Panthers need to get Jeff Garcia's phone number ASAP.
• The old gunslinger plays better when he doesn't have to fire as many bullets.
• Adrian Peterson probably has real horns. Like antlers.
  
• I heard the words, 'Baltimore' and 'offensive powerhouse' in the same sentence. Wait, what?
• The Giants are still awesome, but will fall for a fake field goal.
• I don't play fantasy football, but if I did I'd definitely have Drew Brees on my team.
  
• Tony Romo seems less stressed.
  
• The Lions will be much better... in 2010.
  

While there are still two more games to play tonight, I'll go ahead and lay it out.

• Tom Brady is still devilishly handsome.
  
• Phillip Rivers is a penis.