Trying to get regular, with my blogging of course

So, just a few months after the end of Ronald Moore's re-imagined Battlestar Galactica, those money grubbing bastards at Universal Pictures are fast-tracking yet another, BSG movie for the theaters.

It looks as if they've signed on Bryan Singer to direct the new, um, newer, excuse me, newest version of this space opera. I can almost see a Les Grossman-esque (Tom Cruise in Tropic Thunder), movie mogul, slapping that ass while talking about the G-5. Yes, the airplane.

As a kid, the original series was a favorite of mine. As I look back though, it was more like 'Star Wars' for your television, at a time with home video had yet to hit. I had BSG toys, hell, I had BSG birthday parties. Needless to say, when Sci-Fi Network announced that they were releasing an updated Battlestar Galactica mini-series in the December of 2003, I couldn't wait. I mean holy shit, Starbuck's a girl and Adama is Lt. Castillo from Miami Vice? It's fucking brilliant.

While I expected an update to the classic, what I got instead was an amazing drama with depth and layers that you rarely find in television. Ronald Moore's version of Battlestar Galactica was more social commentary then swash-buckling space adventure. Politics, religion, terrorism, and segregation, as well as some pretty cool space shit. Not gonna lie.

I won't go on about the greatness of Moore's BSG, only suggest that you Netflix that moe foe if you haven't yet seen it.

So that brings me back the point, if there is one. I'm really disappointed by the news of yet another remake. At only 34, I've lived long enough to see 3rd generation remakes. Sad. Remake Star Wars motherfucker, and let the goodness be. Better yet, go see District 9 and get inspired to make something different.

Or, you can always develop a Thundercats movie.

Where The F**k Is Fred Dryer?

As I grow older, I feel that it’s my responsibility to educate children of the nineties on some of treasures they missed out on in the eighties. When I hear questions such as; What is Airwolf?, Who is a Real Genius? Courtney Cox was in a show before Friends? What the fuck is an El Debarge? Well, I start to feel that I have purpose.

Sure there have been some eighties standouts that have stood the test of time. The Dukes of Hazzard, Knight Rider, The Goonies, just to name a few. However, I have heard of people who haven’t yet seen Ghostbusters. Some even pose the unthinkable question... ‘is it any good?’

Now that I rapidly watch the age gap widen, I often listen to the 80’s channel on XM and reflect on some of the great music, film, and TV that the eighties brought us. So brings us to the question... what the fuck happened to Fred Dryer?

Once an inflicter of pain on the football field, Fred went on to star in the NBC hit eighties cop show Hunter. Dryer, along with co-star Stepfanie Kramer, helped Hunter deliver nearly seven seasons of Saturday night police drama yumminess. Unfortunately, it did not create enough of a wake to carry on to the children of the nineties.





Why was Hunter so great? Besides Stepfanie Kramer? Well, it really wasn’t. What was great though, was that in the eighties, the professional athlete had his place in Hollywood. Need some more examples?

Here goes...













Alexander George ‘The Mad Duck’ Karras - professional football player, wrestler. Played the adoptive father to Emmanuel Lewis’s Webster













Richard Marvin "Dick" Butkus - pro football hall of famer, and perhaps the best damn linebacker to other play the game. TV roles included Blue Thunder and My Two Dads.













Charles Aaron "Bubba" Smith - professional football player. Most notably played Moses Hightower in the Police Academy movies. Also, starred in Blue Thunder alongside Dick Butkus.














Anthony Salvatore Iadanza (Tony ‘Fucking’ Danza) - professional boxer. Taxi and Who’s the Boss bitches.










Joseph Edward Klecko - professional football player. OK, small roles, but Cannonball Run and Smokey and the Bandit II.













Terry Paxton Bradshaw - The Pittsburgh Steeler quarterback. (same as Klecko)













Kareem Abdul-Jabbar - master of the ‘skyhook’. Clearance, Clarence, that’s right Airplane. It should be noted that Bruce Lee kicked his ass in 1978’s Game of Death.













Carl Weathers - professional football player and bad-ass mother fucker. Best known as Apollo Creed. Also, can be seen in the Predator alongside Arnie.

OK, so those are the ones that come to mind without really thinking. So what happened. Well the nineties happened.

More specifically, Shaq happened.
Kazaam (1996)
Steel (1997)

Also, Brett Favre’s awful performance as himself at the end of Something About Mary, certainly didn’t do the actor/athlete any favors.

Oh yeah, and there was the Michael Jordan/Looney Tunes 1996 collaboration Space Jam.

Howie Long hung in there until they gave him his on film Firestorm (1998)

Don’t get me wrong. Great athletes, but no Fred Dryers.

Unfortunately, the day of the actor/athlete has passed, and these days it’s more about the actor athlete couple. Donavan McNabb won’t make it into ABC’s latest JJ Abrams creation. FX will not feature Tom Brady on The Riches, and Hines Ward won’t be seen in the next season of 24.

Where are you Fred Dryer? We miss you. Thanks for the memories.

Dudes With Megaphones...

It's great to see them put to such good use.

More Laughter On The Reg

HBO announced today that they will be renewing the revered comedy ‘East Bound and Down’ for a second season. Even though season one consisted of only six episodes, the folks at HBO have given a us enough one liners to last a lifetime.

If you haven’t seen it yet, I encourage you to track this down by any means necessary.

I was first introduced to Danny McBride in the low budget and almost un-noticed 'The Foot Fist Way'. In the movie, McBride plays the part of a less than politically correct Taekwondo instructor in a rural North Carolina town. The film caught the eye of Will Ferrell and Adam McKay, who went on to distribute the film through their production company, Gary Sanchez Productions. After that, it didn’t take very long before Danny started stealing scenes in some of the most successful comedies of the past year, including Tropic Thunder and Pineapple Express.

Now, the trio of Will Ferrell, Adam McCay, and Danny McBride have come together to bring us the HBO comedy 'East Bound and Down'. This time Danny plays the part of Kenny Powers, a star MLB pitcher whose bad behavior has lead him to the early end of his career. Now a washed up athlete, Kenny is forced back to his hometown of Shelby, North Carolina, where finds himself teaching P.E. at the local high school. All the while, Powers is planning his way back into the majors, as well as trying to win back the love his hometown sweetheart, April Buchanon. There are several similarities between East Bound’s Kenny Power’s and Foot Fist’s Fred Simmons, and looking back, ‘The Foot Fist Way’ seems more akin to pre-production on what would eventually become ‘East Bound’.

While ‘Foot Fist’ is a continuous gentle squeeze of laughter, ‘East Bound’ hits you with one comedic blow after another and never lets up. ‘East Bound and Down’ capitalizes on the those glimmering moments of comedic genius found in ‘Foot Fist’ and streamlines it into what is now perhaps the funniest thirty minutes on television.

If you’re a North Carolina native like me, then the comedy hits very close to home. You might recognize the ‘dick slappin’ game, the glorious mullet, and the very Ric Flair-esque BMW salesman Ashley Schaffer (played brilliantly by Will Ferrell).

If you’re easily offended, then this isn’t the show for you, otherwise trust me, one liners and laughter on the reg.

The Vapors

I recently read that a movie was being made about the legendary Juice Crew, with Cuba Gooding Jr. as Marley Marl.

How you like them apples? I fucking love'em. Here's a little Biz Markie to hold you over.

Meet Claude Van Damme and beat the August heat

For those of you looking for a distraction as the smoldering summer hits it's final stretch, get your Netflix queue ready and spend a little time with the guys and gals from Farmington.

If you're the proud recipient of the FX channel, its safe to assume you've at least heard of 'The Shield'. Debuting in the spring of '2002', 'The Shield' was FX Networks first foray into original programming. The first season was a critical success and paved the way for other critically acclaimed FX shows such as Niptuck, Rescue Me, and The Riches.

In the vein of 'Training Day', the plot revolves around a team of less than ethical L.A. police officers. For the first fifty minutes of the pilot, you may think you've figured the show out. 'OK, so this guy is a cop that doesn't operate within the rules, but he is effective... blah, blah, bliggity blah'. It's in the last ten minutes that the true direction and tone of the show is revealed to you, setting the stage for everything that follows.

Despite the fact the Bill O'Reilly once admitted 'The Shield' was one of his favorite shows on television, I still highly recommend it. It's a slow burn that will consume you, and you will shat your pants.

OK, I've said enough... if you get started now you can catch the final 7th season as it returns on September 2nd. The seasons are short, and while it will be tight, it's a great way to beat the August heat!

Gatorades, Little Debbies, BBQ Sauce, and Lottery Tickets

Every neighborhood should have it's own little market, a place to go when you need just that one thing. Should it be a bottled Coke, some 'Snap-It's', Yoo Hoo, or a cork remover, every neighborhood needs it's own center of their little galaxy. Here in our humble and often forgotten 'Boscobel Heights' East Nashville community, guarding the 19th block like those dogs from Ghostbusters guarded Gozer, is our shining star. 'Rick's Market - Coldest Beer In Town - Picnic Supplies'.

I have to be honest, it took me awhile to embrace Rick's when I first moved to this great neighborhood. It was such a stark change from the Belmont-Hillsboro Circle K where many a great ICEE partied partied in my tummy tummy. I'd say it was about a year and a half before I made the short trip up the hill and ventured through the doors off what would become an integral part of my East Nashville lifestyle. I was admittedly nervous. I could picture a similar type of incident that occurred to Pee Wee Herman in 'Pee Wee's Big Adventure', when he went in the biker bar and had to save his ass by dancing on a table to 'Tequila'. Or like when Fletch had to pretend to be Harley Davidson himself in 'Fletch Lives' to avoid an impending ass-whooping. With the exception of one time when my ringer (which is 'Goonies are Good Enough' by Cindi Lauper) went off in the middle of Rick's, have a ever been a little afraid. I just yelled "sweet potatoes taste better with oregano!" and took off running.

Anyway, my first trip to Rick's was just before the Panther's vs. Patriot's Super Bowl. You know, 'Boobgate'. We just needed a tad more BBQ sauce and there was no time to go anywhere else. A debate ensued, and in the end the decision was made that it was time to make that march. A friend graciously escorted me to and from the premises. It was like going home, a home that you really never wanted, but needed. Now, if I need a Skor bar during halftime of the Sunday game... well you might just see a flash of a guy that looks like a woman, wearing a sweatshirt as pants running up the street.

With that being said, July 12th was Costumer Appreciation Day at Rick's. Their way of saying thanks for 10 years of loyal costumer service. In turn, I want to take this opportunity to thank you Rick, for all the Gatorades, Little Debbies, BBQ sauce, and Lottery Tickets that you've provided over the years.

Now, if I can just get you to carry Naked Juice. We'll get there... together.